When I Understand

My dad was an olympic wrestler.  He had never wrestled in his entire life and the first time he ever stepped on the mat he was 17 years old.  Before that, he grew up playing every other sport like football, soccer, baseball and many others.

He was deaf (he became deaf when he was 5 in 1943) and went to a sleep away school for deaf kids starting at age 7 (1945).  The school was very small so he would play two sports every season as did the rest of his classmates as it was the only way they could have enough players to field teams.

When he reached high school at age 13, he tried football for the first time.  His HS football coach (who also coached multiple sports because they didn’t have a lot of coaches) gave his team a quote:

It was the coach’s way to motivate each player to not hold back and dare to pursue greatness by letting go of insecurity and fear of failure.

My dad (who became a teacher and taught for over 50 years before he passed), liked the quote but didn’t love the wording because he felt that it could be misinterpreted with a negative connotation where the person could interpret the message as whoever the person is, currently, is not good enough and he disagreed with that.

When he became a teacher, he rephrased the quote to:

Growing up, that was the message instilled in me in every area of life.  My dad (like his coaches did for him) did not pull any punches.  Without going deep into a history lesson, life for a deaf kid back in the 1940’s – 1960’s was extremely difficult.  The term “deaf and dumb” was prevalent, television was still very new and there most certainly was no closed captions or subtitles on the tv; he couldn’t hear the radio, and when he finally graduated from Gallaudet university (college for the deaf) and went onto get his masters and PHD at other universities, there were no sign language interpreters, someone transcribing notes, or powerpoints to reference lectures, so he would have to lipread a professor in a theater like classroom where every other kid could hear.

How could he “let go” of being deaf – it was who he was.  He felt that mindset of “letting go” was weak – the same as running away.  Instead, he embraced who he was and began to understand not only who he was, but now could understand what needed to be done to become what he wanted to be.

One of our many goals for every player at STACK is to understand who you are, currently, as a player and person.  Sometimes, understanding who you are, currently, can be a tough pill to swallow because the truth can be tough.

Growing up – my dad made sure I knew EXACTLY who I was every single day…and it was very tough at times.  For example: as a young kid, I was definitely overweight.  He encouraged me to eat better and exercise more, but when it came time to play sports he would say “if you are going to succeed – you need to understand who you are RIGHT NOW if you’re going to learn how to adapt to succeed”

My dad – was 5’5 and 112 lbs.  For him, he was always the smallest guy in every way, and he was NOT fast at all.  He had disadvantages everywhere, so by understanding who he was, he figured out how to overcome.

For me – I was also smaller, but even slower than he used to be because I was heavier.  I had to understand what it was going to take to overcome.

But for both of us – understanding who we were also meant understanding our ADVANTAGES and not just our disadvantages.  Resiliency, resolve, persistence, observation/attention to detail, foresight/anticipation, grit…the list goes on.

For you (each of you) – I challenge you to understand who you are as a person so it can better help you become who you want to be (both on and off the court).  So many of you tend to focus on what you CANNOT do, or what you ARE NOT good at that it takes away from what you CAN do and what you ARE good at.

That was hard for me to do when I was younger because I would keep trying to make myself feel better for the things I wasn’t good at rather than tackle the problem at hand.

And my dad would tell me that change only happens when a person gets aggravated enough to the point where they have had enough and are going to make the choice to change…that first step in the process of change?  admitting there’s a problem

So from a basketball perspective – think of basketball as the English language.  You cannot write a whole story without paragraphs; paragraphs need sentences, sentences need words, words need letters, letters need recognition/comprehension.

We all want to make shots and score points.  Well…do you understand who you are?  If you aren’t a good shooter (story) – are you observing how you miss (paragraphs)?  are you leaving your follow through (sentences)?  are you balanced before shooting (words)?  are you aiming (letters)?

And while you are working on that story, does that mean you cannot participate in the class (the game)?  Understanding that I’m not a great shooter (yet) doesn’t mean I cannot have a great impact on the game.  95% of the game is played without that ball in your hand.  Do I understand where to stand (spacing), when to move (timing), where to move (cuts/fills/screens – aka pattern of offense)?

Do I struggle with understanding these things?  How can I improve?  Pay attention more.  Find ways to help myself remember.  Watch more basketball with intent to learn rather than just entertainment.

While I am doing that, can I still help my team?  Yup.  Let’s say each team has an average of 50 possessions a game which equals 100.  Let’s say you’re on the court for 1/2 of those.  That means there are 50 possessions you are on the court for.   Of those 50 possessions, let’s say 35 shots were taken in total (some of which you were on offense and some of which you were on defense).

Rebound.  Do you go after each rebound or do you not?  If not, why?  Rebounding is a choice.  Boxing out is a choice.  Do you understand that maybe you’re not a good shooter (right now) or struggle understanding the offense (right now), but you can be relentless and fight for every rebound?

Of those 15 other possessions – they were probably mistakes/loose balls…did you dive on the floor for every one (whether you got it or not)?  Did you sprint back on defense (regardless of whether you got the stop or not)?  Did you sprint on offense and get to a spot on the floor (even if you weren’t going to get the pass and/or make the shot)?

I could go on and on with all of the elements of the game that every player can help positively impact the team with and help them win while they work to improve their skills, but I want to close up the story…back to my dad.

So he’s 17 years old stepping onto a wrestling mat for the first time.  Not a CLUE of what the sport is or what to do – barely understand the concept.  He understands NOTHING of wrestling – yet, understands ALL of who he is.

He’s understood his advantages and disadvantages in every other part of life.  He’s understood that he has choices in how he’s going to react and respond.

He’s understood that while he’s going to try and learn wrestling the way he’s learned other things in his life – it’s not going to be exactly the same and so he’s going to have to adjust.

He’s understood that he’s the type of person that is going to fight instead of take flight (run away) and make an impact in whatever way he can now.

He’s understood that his perspective is his reality – how he thinks is going to shape how he acts and NO ONE can stop him from how to think or act.

He understood that he didn’t need to let go of who he was, just understand who he was and that would tell him what he needed to do to succeed…and succeed he did.

Every single person on earth has this potential.  Every single player in our program (in at least one area of their life) has something they are good at and it took all of those qualities of growing through adversity and learning through failure to find their success.  I have players who are musicians, actors, artists, chefs, scientists, writers etc.  Players who are amazing with computers & technology, other sports, active in their school & community, the list goes on and on.

Yet what bonds us all – is we come together here at STACK to play basketball.  Our job as coaches:

Not to coach you for the player you are now, not even to help you to be the player you want to be, but to push you to be the player you never thought you could be because we UNDERSTAND that even we don’t know who you could be…but there’s only going to be one way to find out.

– Coach Atom