Dear Parents,
I’m always hesitant to talk about what a parent’s role should be when it comes to helping and supporting their child in basketball practices or games. At the end of the day, this is your child and your family, and you will always do what you feel is best.
The only reason I’m writing this is because I often get questions from parents who are unsure of what to do—or worried that they’re doing the wrong thing. My goal here isn’t to tell you what’s right or wrong, but simply to share some knowledge and perspectives that might be helpful. Think of this as “food for thought.”
After more than 25 years of coaching, I’ve seen how tricky it can be, even for myself, to separate the role of “parent” from “coach.” When I was coaching my own children, I made mistakes—even when I thought I was saying the right things. Thankfully, I recognized those mistakes early, adjusted, and found that the changes made a huge difference not only for them on the court, but also for our family off the court.
To make this message more engaging, I’ve included a few short clips below from people who share this perspective better than I can in writing:
The biggest message I’d leave you with is this: try to remember what shaped you when you were young. Often, it wasn’t the easy moments—it was the struggles, the failures, the challenges, and the time it took to figure things out. As parents, we sometimes want to “make up for what we didn’t have,” and there’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t be discouraged if your child fails or doesn’t pick something up right away. That struggle is often the very thing that helps them grow.
If you want to take extra time outside of practices or games to work on skills with your child, go for it! But just know that even the hard moments can be a gift.
I hope this gives you something to think about, and maybe even a little encouragement. Thanks, as always, for trusting us with your kids!
